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Twilight sucks. There, I said it.
One of my favorite things about being a teacher is the long, luxurious summer breaks. I tend to devour books during this time, since I don't have to try and find a way to shove a chapter or two into my normal schedule. I'm pretty omnivorous when it comes to books. I like a lot of genres. This is just to let you know that I'm not some sort of snooty lit snob.
That being said, I was actively offended by the Twilight series, on several levels.
annoyedThat being said, I was actively offended by the Twilight series, on several levels.
1. Purple prose. I read romance novels. I love romance novels. Stephenie Meyer's writing is amongst the worst offenders I've ever seen. And how many times does she describe Edward's beauty as being "indescribable"? Then stop describing it, you lunatic woman!
2. Poor character development. Who is Bella? Did she have a life before she met the Cullens? What kind of friends did she have back in Arizona? The answers to these questions seem to be "An empty cipher for Edward to love", "She sprang, fully-formed, into existence when she moved to Forks" and "Imaginary friends...I mean, would you be friends with her?"
3. Gender issues. Ohhh, boy, the gender issues. Look, I'm not a crazy feminazi or anything, but Stephenie Meyer's female characters are nothing short of horrifying. Bella's life revolves around Edward. Wait, Edward and Jacob. If Edward is not around, her life is not worth living. She is an empty shell. Now, grown women will read this,and sigh and roll their eyes at Bella's youthful mistakes, but teenage girls? I shudder to think the twisted ideas they may get from reading this book. Let me just say, that if I saw my younger cousins reading this, I'd plead with them to read Harry Potter instead. Because if teens look up to anyone, it should be kickass Hermione Granger, not the insipid Bella.
That being said, Edward Cullen is one of the most hypnotic characters I've ever seen. I have no idea how he came out of the same brain as Bella Swan. I've read a lot about Edward being controlling, but I don't see it. He backs off pretty quickly in Eclipse when he sees that his concern about leaving Bella alone with Jacob is more from jealousy than actual fear for her safety. Jacob is the creepy one in this equation. He forces himself on Bella, kissing her against her will, then manipulates her into kissing him again by threatening to die at the end of the book. A normal girl would be completely turned off by this behavior. Not Bella! Oh, no! This makes her realize that she loves them both! OH MY GOD I CANNOT EVEN DEAL WITH THIS BOOK'S STUPIDITY!
2. Poor character development. Who is Bella? Did she have a life before she met the Cullens? What kind of friends did she have back in Arizona? The answers to these questions seem to be "An empty cipher for Edward to love", "She sprang, fully-formed, into existence when she moved to Forks" and "Imaginary friends...I mean, would you be friends with her?"
3. Gender issues. Ohhh, boy, the gender issues. Look, I'm not a crazy feminazi or anything, but Stephenie Meyer's female characters are nothing short of horrifying. Bella's life revolves around Edward. Wait, Edward and Jacob. If Edward is not around, her life is not worth living. She is an empty shell. Now, grown women will read this,and sigh and roll their eyes at Bella's youthful mistakes, but teenage girls? I shudder to think the twisted ideas they may get from reading this book. Let me just say, that if I saw my younger cousins reading this, I'd plead with them to read Harry Potter instead. Because if teens look up to anyone, it should be kickass Hermione Granger, not the insipid Bella.
That being said, Edward Cullen is one of the most hypnotic characters I've ever seen. I have no idea how he came out of the same brain as Bella Swan. I've read a lot about Edward being controlling, but I don't see it. He backs off pretty quickly in Eclipse when he sees that his concern about leaving Bella alone with Jacob is more from jealousy than actual fear for her safety. Jacob is the creepy one in this equation. He forces himself on Bella, kissing her against her will, then manipulates her into kissing him again by threatening to die at the end of the book. A normal girl would be completely turned off by this behavior. Not Bella! Oh, no! This makes her realize that she loves them both! OH MY GOD I CANNOT EVEN DEAL WITH THIS BOOK'S STUPIDITY!
I'll admit that I like Edward a lot in Eclipse, but I can't decide if that's because he's actually awesome in it, or because of the comparison to Jacob. But then again he did behead another vampire with his teeth, and there's something undeniably sexy about that.
And, yes, the beheading was ubersexy. It reminded me of how Angel became exponentially hotter once he was snapping necks left and right. Is that wrong? I feel this says something about us...
I thought the explanation Edward came up with for why he can't read her mind was lamesauce. If I remember correctly (it was in Twilight, which I barely remember since I read it months ago), he said it was because Bella's mind must just work differently than other people's. I thought that was kind of a let down. I would rather have it just have been some mystery. Or maybe that she had some kind of magical gene that meant she was descended from the unicorn prince or something. And vampires can't read unicorn thoughts.
I think the reason the beheading stuff was so attractive is because he was always so well mannered and well behaved and polite before that. You'd never have suspected. And all of a sudden... he lops off a head to defend the one he loves. However misplaced that love might be... damn. That's hot.
That's what's so awesome about Edward. He's all prim and proper, and then suddenly he's leaping tall buildings with a single bound. (I find the way Edward drives unbelievably sexy. WHY? SM writes that Edward drives fast, and I'm thinking, "I *love* Edward.")
"If I remember correctly (it was in Twilight, which I barely remember since I read it months ago), he said it was because Bella's mind must just work differently than other people's."
He says he's getting the FM feed, and she's on AM. Anyway, I prefer to think that Edward would drop Bella in a heartbeat if he knew the insipid thoughts really dwelling in her brain.
Seriously, you're so right, it's terrible. What a role model for young women !
Then stop describing it, you lunatic woman!
LOL, ILU. That's always my reaction to that word. GAAHHH.
If I did have a daughter that decided to read this drivel, I think I'd make her write an essay afterwards on how Bella Swan is the antithesis of a strong, independent female. Then I'd make her list all the ways that Anne Shirley, Jo March, and Hermione Granger are better human beings. (My kids are going to *love* me.)